Objects whose goal in life is to puncture the skin of those of us that are also becoming less agile, less able to maintain an even keel, those of us who are teeter tottering toward the end of days.
Having spent 2 weeks being treated by a wound care specialist after trying for 2 months to heal myself, I find myself developing Aichmophobia (the fear of sharp or pointed objects).
On any given day, I find that the edge of my bathroom vanities and kitchen counters have corners that could prove fatal. The outward facing corners of 2 walls coming together seem to have developed the ability to reach out and grab me, rolling up paper thin skin like cheap cigarette paper.
Sticks in the yard are more deadly than venomous snakes as they see me passing by and rear up one end or the other and strike at my ankles.
And let us not even consider the the tiny toenails of excited little schnauzer people thrilled beyond measure to see you after you've been gone for a whole 10 minutes.
This is a very unsettling state of affairs for me. I have always crash, banged through life....I could have 5 projects going at once. I was PRODUCTIVE....I could finish housework in 45 minutes (not well, but passable) and get my yard mowed and tidied, run 3 errands and still be on time for work usually looking pretty presentable.
Not anymore.
Now, I am deliberately studying my tasks for potential pitfalls and problems, I am donning protective gear....long pants, long sleeved shirts, gauntlets, gloves......I look like I'm headed out to break trail on the Continental Divide. But, instead I am moving an extension cord from one location to another.
It is tough to find the funny in this life. People keep telling me to slow down, take it easy, be still.
And....I honestly wish I could.
But, the child of my mother is one that sees something that needs to be done and feels driven to do it. I don't ask for help easily. I do appreciate it when it happens, but I think having to ask is wrong. This too comes from my mother who never met a task she wouldn't attempt herself. She prided herself on her ability to do things herself......and so do I.
And....I have this nagging feeling that if I let down and do less....I will never accomplish much again.
And so....instead of stopping, I slow. I take a break more often and I am no so driven to see it all done right.damned.now.
I WILL adjust....I WILL NOT stop. And I will become more concentrated on making sure things don't become a mess to begin with. I will start picking up and putting away, Throwing away things that usually pile up. I will do my best to stay productive and essential.
And if I have to put those little felt adhesive circle thingies on the edges of all things in my house that are sharp, I will. Because I refuse to let my home and my yard defeat me.
The night may be dark and full of terrors, but my days are full of sharp and pointies.....and I can beat them both.
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